Split seconds and second chances

Wow, what a week we had! On Tuesday my hubby went into the office as per usual. I hobbled along and managed to do my housely duties, mommy duties etc. Went to bed early as I had need for some more of those painkillers for my now very sore body. I must say I was proud for walking more normally than the day before.

Wednesday morning I helped my hubby pack, took my eldest two to school and was looking forward to spending some time with my youngest and getting more info on homeschooling and speech therapy for Fanboy, my youngest. He is now 5 years old, but I will tell you later about him.

My hubby works away 3 to 4 days a week as he is a rep. On the road seeing clients. I remember saying goodbye to him and looking at him as he got into his double cab bakkie. I remember saying a prayer for God to keep him safe. I told my hubby how much I love him and told him to drive safely. I remember looking out the kitchen window, cup of coffee in my hand, and thinking how good he looked driving his new bakkie, only 4 months old.

I remember fetching the kids from school, doing homework and talking to my friend. I remember chatting to my sister on facebook chat when the phone rang. I remember my excitement as I saw it was my hubby calling, for probably the 5th time that day, and I remember the next words, like I will probably do for a very long time still.

I answered: " Hi honey! How are you?"
He replied: " Not so good, I just rolled the bakkie!"
Split seconds for my day to shatter.
Split seconds for my heart to stop.
Split seconds for a hundred different scenarios running through my head.
Split seconds which felt like forever.

My husband was driving on a dirt road, on a straight stretch, not going fast and the bakkie started swerving. No other cars on the road. He lost control, hit a sandbank and then the bakkie rolled! He had to look for his cellphone, which Thank God was still working. Then he had to phone to let us know what happened.

Split seconds in which I prayed he was fine.
Split seconds in which I kept on thanking God that my husband was phoning me and not someone else.
Split seconds in which I could hear my hubby's voice.
Split seconds in which I did not know what to do next.

I remember trying to find out if he was hurt, where he was, was help on the way, what I could do, and it downed on me, I was not with him. Over 400km away from him, not knowing if he was OK, not knowing how to get help to him, and then I realised I was busy drowning and I had 3 pairs of little eyes looking at me in confusion, they had heard the whole phone call.

I thank God my friend was here.
I thank God my father was outside my gate when I phoned him.
I thank God for cellphones and I thank God for His Holy Spirit holding me up.

Seconds turned to frantic minutes. My husband had the accident on a deserted farm road. None got to him before an hour had passed. The only contact he had was my frantic calls every few minutes and his work trying to get help to him. Minutes turned into gruelling hours while I saw the sun set and darkness come. Hours in where I did not know how to get to my husband, as my car would never make the trip. I had to wait for someone to be able to say they could take me. I remember standing in front of the children's cupboards, trying to pack clothes for them to go to my mom, and not knowing what I packed. My friend eventually took over once she saw I only packed a lot of shirts. Most of the details I can't remember, only this burning desire to hold my husband.

I remember the hours it took them to get my hubby to the hospital. The hours I waited for news from him. The hours in which my kids were whisked away to my mom, hours in which word got out and family and friends started forming a life network around me. Hours in which so many faces and arms were around me. But most of all I remember the tears of my heart breaking, my eyes feeling like sandpaper, me feeling like I could cry no more, but still the tears came. I remember sitting on the bed and not knowing how to do anything, my life pulled out from under me. Me, the person who is always in control, who copes the best under pressure, who knows exactly what to do in emergencies, me the pillar of strength for everyone else, has collapsed into a puddle of jelly.

I remember being in my house one minute and at my sisters house the next, not really knowing how I got there. I remember waiting for the phone to ring.

My hubby eventually phoned from the hospital, the Dr checked him out. He had only muscle and ligament injuries, but was being kept overnight for observation. Thank God my hubby would come back to me, to our children, to our life we have been building together for the last 10 years. Not only was God giving me back my husband, my children's father, he was giving me back the best  gift ever....my best friend.

The decision was made to stay at my sisters house for the evening. My husband was lying in a hospital 400km + away and I had no way to get to him. I know it would not have helped in any way as the road was dangerous, it was 10pm by then, and I had nowhere to stay over.

The work arranged to bring him back the next morning, yesterday.

Never before had a night felt so long, or my heart so sore. I could not sleep, went into shock and could not get warm even with piles of blankets on top of me. My mind would not switch off, my only desire to hold my husband, my other half, my best friend.

The next day dawned somehow, life carried on for everyone else. I spoke to my kids, my husband, my kids, my husband.....don't wanna know what my cellphone bill is gonna look like, but I don't care. This was the day that my hubby was coming home.

I fetched my kids, went home and cleaned. Yes, I cleaned!!! It is what I do when stressed. Somehow the painfully slow hours passed and the gate went open. I saw MY husband, MY other half, My best friend get out of the work car, and I Breathed for the first time. The children ran and clung to him, their Daddy home. I held him and kept on thanking God for bringing him home.

Last night I went to bed with my husband lying next to me. LAYING NEXT TO ME. I held him the whole night, not wanting to let go. I could not sleep, just wanted to hear him breath. I checked on the kids a thousand times, and realised, what  a blessing to have MY whole family under one roof!!

I realised your life can change in a split second, but that God gives second chances!!