Long time no see....

So it has been a long time since I have blogged. My main reason for stopping was the sudden passing of my mother-in-law. Now I know that most woman dread the word Mother-in-law, but I had the most AMAZING mother-in-law ever!!! She was an absolute gift from God! I miss her more than words can say. She always loved me like her own, loved my kids more than life and gave me the best gift ever...my Hubby.

She raised the most amazing son, who would later turn out to be my best friend and my husband. I remember the day I met her. My hubby and I were dating for a short while, when he was in an accident. He was in hospital and his mother had to travel from her home town to visit him in hospital. I was visiting my love in hospital and was standing next to his bed when she entered the room. The first words that came out of my dear love's mouth was to my absolute horror: "Hi mom, meet my future wife!". Just like that! I have never met her before and here he says straight out that I am his future wife. Here is what made me love her straight away....she looked at me and with absolute love said: 'That is great news!!! I like her already!"

That was my Mom-in-law...amazing, accepting and absolutely loving! She accepted me straight away, welcomed me into their family and never once questioned our relationship. She told me years later that she was praying that God would send her son a wife. The moment she met me she knew that I was her answer to her prayer. She was one amazing woman. We got engaged a month later and married a month and a half after that. My mom-in-law helped with the planning of the wedding with such joy. She even baked my wedding cake and I must say it was the most beautiful cake ever. I called her Mom from the day of our wedding because that was what she was...My new Mom. How blessed I was!!!

My mom-in-law was a phenomenal woman. We could sit for hours and talk. She never once made me feel like I was unworthy of her son. She respected me and loved me. We both used to read a lot and there was nothing so exciting as reading a great book and then giving it to her to read. We could sit for hours and talk about the books we read. She loved to bake and cook. She loved my kids so much. Never interfering in the way we raised them, she always supported our decisions and never judged us as parents or husband and wife. She prayed for us daily. She knew what we loved and always knew what we liked most. How I miss her......

The Lord took her home two days before her birthday and a week before my middle son's birthday. How I wish I could have had just one more visit with her. Just one more chance to say how much I love her and to thank her for loving me and always being there. You see...God answered her prayer but in turn He gave me one of the best gifts ever. Mom...how I love you! I miss you so much. Thank you for the mom you were to my hubby, to the amazing gift you were to me, but most of all, thank you for loving my kids the way you did. We miss you so much.....

Our Gift from God...

My baby boy turned 6 last month!! It feels like just the other day that we discover our little surprise....and what a surprise he was!!! I fell pregnant with Fanboy while I was still breastfeeding Chum-chum! The Dr told me it could not happen, and guess what? I had to go and prove him wrong!

Unlike all my other pregnancies, I had no idea that I was pregnant with Fanboy. I had a 5 year old son, and a very lively 15 month old baby. I remember my hubby telling me one morning that while we were sleeping, he held me, and while his hand was on my stomach, it felt just like it did when I was pregnant. We had a good laugh, and I decided that maybe gym was a good option right about then. I started thinking something was a little bit odd when I woke up in the early hours of the morning, starving! Now everybody that knows me, knows that I am NOT a morning person, and I never eat before about 10 am, unless I am pregnant! Then I pretty much ate every 2 hours!! I went and did a pregnancy test that same day, and it turned out negative! I left it at that. A little while later I was standing in a que and a few feet away from me was a pregnant lady. Awe sweet....I thought, until I looked down at my own tummy and realized that my tummy looked ALOT like hers! The fact that I could not pull my tummy in, no matter how hard I tried, should have given it away then....but I was as blind as a bat to all the baby flags!!! All I kept on thinking was that I seriously needed to join a gym.....

Whilst teaching one morning, I suddenly had a wave of nausea, and literally had to run to the loo.....and still I did not see the signs, I thought it was something I ate!! Silly hey, but a person only sees what they want to see....but by the end of a full week of running out of the classroom at about the same time every day, I had to face the facts. I went back to the Dr, yip the one who told me I could not get pregnant while breastfeeding, and guess what....he told me I was pregnant!!! Now, I don't handle shock like normal people do, seeing as how I am not like ANY other person I know. I kind of do the whole hysterical laughing thing. So you can well imagine that my husband thought I was joking with him, when I phoned him, hysterically laughing whilst trying to tell him he was going to become a dad again! He actually drove all the way home, just to see the test!

I had a pretty normal pregnancy until about 27 weeks(which later turned out to be about 22 weeks). I started spotting and had contractions. I was put into bed rest, and let me tell you, with a baby, that was no easy task! I eventually made it to 38 weeks, and the Dr did a C-section.

I remember hearing Fanboy's first cry. It was so beautiful! All I kept on thinking was that at the exact moment he took his first breath, God was in that very room with us, blowing His breath of life into my little baby boy. It was amazing! The Dr told us that the cord was wrapped around Fanboy's neck twice!It was so amazing to think that God guided the Dr to do a C-section as opposed to natural birth. I don't even want to think what would have happened if I had a natural birth. Fanboy could have been strangled!

 I saw him briefly before they whisked him away to have him cleaned up, and already I love him with all of my heart!This amazing surprise, our special gift from God!

About 2 hours after his birth, I asked my hubby to go and see why the nurse had not brought Fanboy to me to breastfeed. He left and I could hear a hustle and bustle in the corridors. My hubby came back telling me that Fanboy had been taken for X-rays, and that the Dr was on his way, as there was something wrong. We waited for what felt like an eternity. The Dr came and told us that Fanboy had developed breathing complications. They had been wrong with my due date as I had no LMS to go on, and that they think he was actually born at 35 weeks. They needed to have him transferred to a bigger hospital, as they needed to get him to a ventilator. My heart felt like it stopped at that very second. I had not even held my baby.....

I remember phoning our friends and family and asking them to pray for my little newborn baby boy. In the midst of all of this confusion and fear, God gave me peace and told me to call in the elders and have him anointed. I phoned our pastor, and he came and prayed for Fanboy. About 6 hours after I had my spinal, two amazing nurses came to me, and told me that they could not see me in this amount of agony. They were going to take me to see my baby in the nursery, even if they had to carry me! By the Grace of God, I was able to walk, with their assistance to the nursery, even though my legs still felt like jelly.

The moment I saw Fanboy lying there, helpless in the incubator, I knew that I loved him more than life! I sat there praying and willing him to live. He was so tiny, yet perfect! Amazingly, by the time the Dr returned, Fanboy's breathing had improved, to such an extend that they decided to keep him at the hospital where we were. He was not allowed to have any feeds for three days and we were not to touch him unnecessarily as this would take his concentration of his breathing. I got to hold my baby for the first time when he was three days old, and it was the most incredible feeling. We were able to go home after six days! God had performed a miracle, the first of many in Fanboy's life.

I can not thank God enough for this amazing gift He gave us, my baby boy, who now is already 6 years old!!! My little man, who, no matter how old he is, will always be my baby.....the little boy with the most amazing personality, that's always smiling, that always makes everybody laugh with his jokes and his pranks. The little boy with the most amazing blue eyes, that steals everybody's hearts the moment they meet him......My baby boy.......Fanboy!!

I  love you  Fanboy xxx

Time flies

Time flies, way to fast for my liking. My big boy is turning 12 next week!! I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Bob the builder, the day my 'little girl' dream came true!!

 You see, when I was young, all I ever wanted was to be a mom and to have a family. While other kids dreamt of being doctors and teachers etc, all I dreamt about was one day having a family! I had a scrapbook with pictures of babies and started buying the Your Baby magazine from the first issue! So the day I did took the pregnancy test to find out if I was pregnant with Bob the builder, was definitely the day my dreams started to come true! I had the most amazing pregnancy, but the MOST amazing day was the day I gave birth to Bob the builder! 

The first time I looked at him, the second I held him in my arms, the moment I started to breastfeed him, every detail still fresh in my memory, was the moment in time when I realized, I was a mom, and this beautiful little miracle was MY child, my firstborn! The first time I felt like a piece of my heart was now beating in this beautiful, perfect gift that God gave me. This amazing gift that God blessed me with. The blessing he promised me in a dream when I was only 16 years old! This perfect baby boy, who I would do anything for, move mountains for, who I would defend with every fibre of my being! This perfect gift I was given by God, entrusted by God, to raise into a man.

My precious baby boy, who became the most talkative, vibrant little toddler.

My precious baby boy who became a little boy who loves life, loves being outside, loves sport, loves working on machines, who has always been so confident that he never once needed people's approval to know how wonderful and unique he is!

My baby boy who turned into a pre-teenager that would do anything and everything to protect his mother, that adores his father, that loves and cares for his brothers. The talented, gifted boy that can spend hours working on motors, taking them apart and fixing them. The boy who loves fishing, gardening and being outdoors. The baby boy who stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on him,who makes everyday memorable! The boy who I am so proud of......My son Bob the builder!!

Mr. Pieman

Give me a pie and feed me for today, teach me how to make a pie, and I will feed myself forever.......
or something in that line is what we did today. I don't like the whole cooking thing, never have been the natural born housewife, will most probably have failed home economics if I carried on with it....but on weird random days....( my hubby says more like random months) I get this Homemaker urge coursing through my veins!!! Today was one of those days.....

I decided to make some pies!! I know, easier to just go out and buy them!! Wish I had thought of that before I started with my big adventure this afternoon, but we started none the less! I took out the pastry early on so as not to be able to back out of this once in a blue moon notion of mine, mentally preparing myself for every step.....being the list person I am!! I mentally ran down every scenario and finally had each step worked out in my mind, quick, easy and very sufficient!!! Or so I thought......

You see, I forgot one little tiny detail in my great plan...or should I say 3 tiny details....MY BOYS!!!!!!
Yip, I forgot to send them for nap time or playtime or whatever it is that the efficient moms send their kids on when they cook....and I ended up with....CHAOS!!!!!!

I suddenly, 2 minutes into my Bright Idea moment, had 3 boys running in with dirty grubby hands, and huge smiley faces, reporting for chef duties!!! I tried my best to make outside look inviting, even resorted to that ONE thing I always said I WOULD NEVER DO when I had kids.....BRIBERY!!!

I eventually gave in or was it give up and surrendered to my 3 little chefs!!! Needles to say it took like FOREVER to finish the pies,
I was now running late, and had to bite my tongue the WHOLE time!
You see, I am a little bit of a neat freak...just tiny bit....not so that you would notice, one of those irritating woman who washes dishes while cooking to make sure the kitchen still looks clean. Who half way through cooking will suddenly discover that the bowls would be more handy in the next cupboard, and then end up quickly rearranging the whole kitchen...I know.... hectic to be me...but I regress.

My lovely hubby ended up coming home from work to discover his wife, sons and the WHOLE kitchen under flour!! Kind of reminded me of one of those movies from the old days where the woman stood with their aprons, flour smudge across the face, hubby coming in and sweeping her off her feet!Except my hubby was a little bit in shell shock! I mean who can blame the man...the wife who usually opts for the quick meals has gone all out!! I am sure he stopped for a second to think if he forgot an anniversary or something!

Anyhows, the pies turned out finger licking great...if I may say so myself!! The kitchen is another story though..he he!As for the boys....well seeing like I am about to embark on this whole homeschooling journey...I thought today was a great day to tick of as a 'school' day! Fanboy got to draw in flour, mix it with water, and add sugar ( 'coz the lady on TV said we must add sugar). He got to make Mojo -the dog- supper ( poor dog), and he even helped me clean...see I am doing something right! This way if his wife can't cook one day, or clean, he will be able to do it with flying colours!!!

So there you have it, our wonderful domestic day, in a nutshell! Oh by the way....I am so NOT doing this in a hurry again! OK, maybe in a few months time.......

Fanboy busy making Mojo's food!

Split seconds and second chances

Wow, what a week we had! On Tuesday my hubby went into the office as per usual. I hobbled along and managed to do my housely duties, mommy duties etc. Went to bed early as I had need for some more of those painkillers for my now very sore body. I must say I was proud for walking more normally than the day before.

Wednesday morning I helped my hubby pack, took my eldest two to school and was looking forward to spending some time with my youngest and getting more info on homeschooling and speech therapy for Fanboy, my youngest. He is now 5 years old, but I will tell you later about him.

My hubby works away 3 to 4 days a week as he is a rep. On the road seeing clients. I remember saying goodbye to him and looking at him as he got into his double cab bakkie. I remember saying a prayer for God to keep him safe. I told my hubby how much I love him and told him to drive safely. I remember looking out the kitchen window, cup of coffee in my hand, and thinking how good he looked driving his new bakkie, only 4 months old.

I remember fetching the kids from school, doing homework and talking to my friend. I remember chatting to my sister on facebook chat when the phone rang. I remember my excitement as I saw it was my hubby calling, for probably the 5th time that day, and I remember the next words, like I will probably do for a very long time still.

I answered: " Hi honey! How are you?"
He replied: " Not so good, I just rolled the bakkie!"
Split seconds for my day to shatter.
Split seconds for my heart to stop.
Split seconds for a hundred different scenarios running through my head.
Split seconds which felt like forever.

My husband was driving on a dirt road, on a straight stretch, not going fast and the bakkie started swerving. No other cars on the road. He lost control, hit a sandbank and then the bakkie rolled! He had to look for his cellphone, which Thank God was still working. Then he had to phone to let us know what happened.

Split seconds in which I prayed he was fine.
Split seconds in which I kept on thanking God that my husband was phoning me and not someone else.
Split seconds in which I could hear my hubby's voice.
Split seconds in which I did not know what to do next.

I remember trying to find out if he was hurt, where he was, was help on the way, what I could do, and it downed on me, I was not with him. Over 400km away from him, not knowing if he was OK, not knowing how to get help to him, and then I realised I was busy drowning and I had 3 pairs of little eyes looking at me in confusion, they had heard the whole phone call.

I thank God my friend was here.
I thank God my father was outside my gate when I phoned him.
I thank God for cellphones and I thank God for His Holy Spirit holding me up.

Seconds turned to frantic minutes. My husband had the accident on a deserted farm road. None got to him before an hour had passed. The only contact he had was my frantic calls every few minutes and his work trying to get help to him. Minutes turned into gruelling hours while I saw the sun set and darkness come. Hours in where I did not know how to get to my husband, as my car would never make the trip. I had to wait for someone to be able to say they could take me. I remember standing in front of the children's cupboards, trying to pack clothes for them to go to my mom, and not knowing what I packed. My friend eventually took over once she saw I only packed a lot of shirts. Most of the details I can't remember, only this burning desire to hold my husband.

I remember the hours it took them to get my hubby to the hospital. The hours I waited for news from him. The hours in which my kids were whisked away to my mom, hours in which word got out and family and friends started forming a life network around me. Hours in which so many faces and arms were around me. But most of all I remember the tears of my heart breaking, my eyes feeling like sandpaper, me feeling like I could cry no more, but still the tears came. I remember sitting on the bed and not knowing how to do anything, my life pulled out from under me. Me, the person who is always in control, who copes the best under pressure, who knows exactly what to do in emergencies, me the pillar of strength for everyone else, has collapsed into a puddle of jelly.

I remember being in my house one minute and at my sisters house the next, not really knowing how I got there. I remember waiting for the phone to ring.

My hubby eventually phoned from the hospital, the Dr checked him out. He had only muscle and ligament injuries, but was being kept overnight for observation. Thank God my hubby would come back to me, to our children, to our life we have been building together for the last 10 years. Not only was God giving me back my husband, my children's father, he was giving me back the best  gift ever....my best friend.

The decision was made to stay at my sisters house for the evening. My husband was lying in a hospital 400km + away and I had no way to get to him. I know it would not have helped in any way as the road was dangerous, it was 10pm by then, and I had nowhere to stay over.

The work arranged to bring him back the next morning, yesterday.

Never before had a night felt so long, or my heart so sore. I could not sleep, went into shock and could not get warm even with piles of blankets on top of me. My mind would not switch off, my only desire to hold my husband, my other half, my best friend.

The next day dawned somehow, life carried on for everyone else. I spoke to my kids, my husband, my kids, my husband.....don't wanna know what my cellphone bill is gonna look like, but I don't care. This was the day that my hubby was coming home.

I fetched my kids, went home and cleaned. Yes, I cleaned!!! It is what I do when stressed. Somehow the painfully slow hours passed and the gate went open. I saw MY husband, MY other half, My best friend get out of the work car, and I Breathed for the first time. The children ran and clung to him, their Daddy home. I held him and kept on thanking God for bringing him home.

Last night I went to bed with my husband lying next to me. LAYING NEXT TO ME. I held him the whole night, not wanting to let go. I could not sleep, just wanted to hear him breath. I checked on the kids a thousand times, and realised, what  a blessing to have MY whole family under one roof!!

I realised your life can change in a split second, but that God gives second chances!!

New to this whole blogging thing!

Well, here I am, starting a new part of my life...BLOGGING!!! I have been threatening to do so now for the past few months, and finally the day has arrived! So today, On WOMEN'S day,  little ole me has started a new chapter in my life as a woman, mother, wife, daughter,sister, friend and now, blogger.

Today has started in a different fashion as per the norm. I woke up this morning in agony! Happens when u sign up for a fun walk, in aid of a good cause, without practicing or doing any exercises what-so-eva!! So my lovely hubby,(who by the way also walked the gruelling 10km), had to resort to being my back 'n call ,all day long, on his off day!! But I must add that he is much fitter than me....and it is Women's day today, and I really am in agony!!!!

So the motto for the day is as follows:
1) DO NOT attempt to do a 10 km fun brisk walk if you have not been actively exercising for the past few months.
2) Marry a great man like I did!! He he
3) Next time you get asked to participate in strenuous fun days, do as follows and repeat after me:" I am so sorry but we are going away for the long weekend", and remember to smile apologetically at whoever dared to ask such a silly thing!

Any hows I shall go and medicate myself with some Voltaren now, and go get into bed! Tomorrow we luckily get to sleep late as our kids get to stay home because of yet another strike in our wonderful country of South Africa, and trust me I am not complaining in the least bit, and neither are my very lively 3 boys!!!